I think that I’m not so good at relationship or at writing about something different than my daily job. Maybe this is the infamous impostor syndrome, but this isn’t what I want to talk you about. Instead, I’d like to tell you my Tinder journey: a supposedly fun thing I’ll do again. Obviously once I’ll burn all my old credentials.
’Twas a boring night of December 2018 and I was lying alone in a queen bed in a Connecticut house. No, I don’t live there, I was just on vacation and I was bored. It was my third month as a single person in her 20s, after my five-ish year relationship ended with a phone call. I knew some friends who met their partners thanks to the app, so I thought why not give it a shot? Why not starting from the States, the Free Land of stereotypes? Are there really people posing with guns and/or exotic animals? Spoiler: there are.
I chose some representative pictures: with food, with the sea (like this one here), one in a festive environment and a meme. There was also my visible face, but since I want to be hired by some University after my PhD I’ll leave my identity hidden. I chose also a representative bio I am very proud of: “Procrastination queen to-be”. Later it was joined by a political statement, something like “JK, I’m not monarchic”. Everything was normal, as looking to a catalog of people showing bathroom selfies, pictures with pets and obvious fake profiles.
Everything was ok, and I’ve been in some good and bad dates in these years. Also, anytime I was coming back to my hometown I used to open Tinder to see “what’s new in town” and comment it with my friends.I confess, I’m a bad person.
Then the pandemic came and Tinder was some other way to meet and talk to people you don’t know. I admit that during the lockdown I opened it sometimes only to see that some people were actually living close and that there was something else outside my alienating flat and that maybe life would continue. Obviously I wasn’t the only bored one, and everyone lived it differently, so don’t judge me because I won’t.
At the end of September I decided I didn’t need Tinder anymore, because it looked like life was continuing. So, I deleted my profile, the app and everything. Obviously the decision was so pondered that after three days I decided I had to come back to the dating app universe.
I made a new profile. I don’t remember if I used the same email address as the old one but sure with the same phone number. Also, since I had a lot of success, I decided to keep the profile as it was: pictures, description, favorite song and Spotify profile.
Unluckily it didn’t last long. After 48 hours or maybe more, I opened the app and this is what it looked like:
I was shocked but also a bit excited, I usually follow the rules. I started to read all the terms and conditions and at a certain point I thought I did have posted a naked picture, that I harassed someone but actually nothing of the sort happened. This excitement played against me, because I got distracted when looking for a solution in the assistance website labyrinth and completely forgot to continue looking for a solution, well played Tinder.
The maze works very simply: you go to the terms, then you click on your problem, this links to a page that links to another page with a big “Thank you, please go to THIS page that is linked to the first page you were at the beginning”. Some weeks after, I decided that I could do something so I started to write to the app at their help email address with these missive.
I am writing to you because I have been banne from the application.
I’ve had a Tinder account since 2018 with my mobile number 123456789 and linked to this mail account and my FB and spotify account (also linked to the mail). In September, due to the personal reasons, I decided to delete my account to make a fresh start and make a brand new one. After a week I deleted my old account, I made a new one, using more or less the same pictures, bio and favourite song. However I don’t recall if I linked it to my other mail account or this one (mail account).
After some days using the new profile, I was banned without receiving any mail from your company. I tried to find the reason of my ban on the website, but it was also very difficult to find the information I needed. So I thought that since my profile was more or less identical to the old one, but some information changed, I was banned for catfishing as myself. I did not have any matches yet, so it was really strange in my opinion. Anyway, if it was because of the catfishing, congratulations on your ML training.
Is there a way to find a solution to this?
Thank you in advance for your help.
This was the “not” automatic answer I received:
And now what? Nothing, I’m writing this article just to vent my frustrations, hoping to say “you’re not alone” to another human who’s facing this issue. I’m not sad that I can’t use it, because there are many other dating apps. I’m a bit disappointed because Tinder is perfect for lazy people, since it’s the most used one. Moreover, since the social life is way more reduced than it used to be (I’ll leave you this gallery in case you’re missing the good ol’ crowded times), dating apps are very useful and in great expansion. Just to name some alternatives, there are Bumble, OkCupid, Badoo, and the ones with more specific sexual orientation, such as Grindr. But please don’t use other apps, say LinkedIN, to make a move, it’s cringy. In addition to this eternal law, I’d like to end my little adventure with some lessons I’ve learnt during this time.
- Verify your profile. You have to take a picture and an AI will tell you if you’re the same human of the picture you uploaded
- Think more than twice before deleting and remaking your profile, it will also spare the world from another article like this
- If you haven’t, watch The Office (US). I didn’t have another advice so I opted for a general one